I don’t know if I am alone in doing this, but I tend to magnify things that are negative, and overlook the positive in situations.
A recent real life example: My husband took a picture of me up close when a butterfly landed in my hair. I was thrilled that he caught this moment for me. I love butterflies! When I looked at the picture, I saw the wrinkles around my eyes. I even went so far as to enlarge the picture and gawk at how my crows feet had turned into deep cracks in my skin. I closed the image, then re-opened it to ruminate some more. I did this a few times, and spent way too much time lamenting on how horrible I looked. I finally decided to delete the horrible picture of my ugly aging self. My mind recalls all the lovely photos of friends my age, you know – the perfect ones on Facebook. I see how their skin glows and is unblemished, free from wrinkles.
Thinking back, I never once looked at the butterfly. I didn’t look closely at the beauty that was the purpose of the picture. I was so focused on not just myself, but my negative self image, that I missed the beauty of the moment. The sheer happiness. Now the picture is gone. In those few moments, holding my husband’s cell phone, I even drudged up an old memory of a cosmetic counter saleslady telling me how huge my pores were. Another memory surfaced when a dermatologist tried sell me botox and fillers. “Oh, my. You have the number 11 embedded between your brows,” she hawked. When I was magnifying the photo, looking for the negative, I found she was right! Shocking! EEEK! Run-don’t-walk, quickly, get needles full of drugs and poison, stick them into this face immediately, I thought. All of this negativity over a picture of a butterfly. What did that butterfly look like? I don’t even know what color it was. The moment was gone, the photo was gone.
My husband was confused, and didn’t understand why I was so troubled over the photo. He was proud to present the picture to me. He sees me as beautiful, and does not focus on the wrinkles. God is the same way. He sees what is inside of us, not the outside. And, to top it off, when I focus on the negative – the inside of me isn’t looking too good either.
How many positive opportunities have I missed, because of focusing on the negative? Countless, I am sure.
I am reminded in Proverbs 31:30 (NKJV)
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
What I am not saying here, is that it is wrong to want to look nice on the outside. What I have come to realize is, that I need to accept the things I can’t change about my appearance (unless I am willing to get injections, that is.) I do want to look nice for my husband, for work, and for me. More importantly, I need to focus on my inward self more than I do my outward appearance. I am a woman that has aged 46 years. I have had many experiences, both wonderful and challenging. I am me.
New thought: God, my husband, family and friends see me as a beautiful creation of God! That is the truth, and God loves me.
My prayer today is that, now aware of this bad habit, I am working on getting better God’s way. Please message me privately or comment publicly if you would like to add something-or have been in a similar situation and can relate to working on turning this negative habit around.
Hello and welcome to my website and blog. My life’s purpose is to comfort women, and provide a beacon of positivity as we travel together through this crazy thing called life! I have been through my share of rides on this roller coaster – and will share insight and my story along the way. I am first, and foremost – a Christian woman. I am also a wife and mother of an adult son. I consider myself a survivor on multiple levels.
I will post blogs a minimum of twice a week, with my eventual aim being a post each weekday. I look forward to relaxing and having a comforting cup of coffee or tea with you as we dive in.
My very best,
(photo coming soon)